Sometimes when people move to the south they say, “I don’t know why you guys freak out when it snows.” Here’s the guide on how to panic when it snows, Southern Style.
Phase 1 of Panic: I throw my kids in the van and race other moms to the grocery store’s bread aisle. Nothing brings on a sandwich hankering like a snow prediction… last loaf grabbed. Whew. Then, I make my kids run to the milk section. I’m pretty sure I have a full gallon of milk at home, but I grab a gallon anyways. We could drink 2 gallons of milk in a day, right? You never know, it could happen. Milk and bread. Check check.
While feeling accomplished in the store parking lot, I receive a text. “Due to the prediction of inclement weather, school is cancelled tomorrow.”
Phase 2 of Panic: Yell “NOOOO!” really loud (on the inside). I don’t recommend yelling out loud…it kinda freaks your kids out…not that I’ve done that…ahem….moving on. Then, the next set of text messaging begins. Other moms start group texting, “What are we going to do?”, etc. Anxiety text messages are hilarious.
Side note for people who have never lived in the south: Sometimes the kids get a snow day for the prediction of snow, but the snow actually never comes. Mind blown! So when that white fluffy stuff appears (aka snow), another problem hits…what are we going to wear?
Phase 3 of Panic: What is layering anyways? How many pairs of pants does one person really need to wear? Can tube socks count as a layer (because they should)? With 4 kids under 6, just finding a matching pair of gloves is ridiculous. And don’t’ get me started on the amount of time I’ve wasted getting each chubby little finger into an actual finger hole. 45 minutes later everyone is finally “dressed”. Since mommy doesn’t understand the concept of layering, everyone runs inside after about 30 minutes because we are all cold.
Now, there’s water on my hard wood floors.
Phase 4 of Panic: Snow is all over my children who have piled into the warm house, which means water on floors. As I chase people down with towels, I chant to myself “this is fun and we’re making memories.”. So after warming up the family and wiping up the water, I look up at my laundry room. My eyes pop out of my head.
Phase 5 of Panic: Coats, gloves, hats…it looks like winter threw up everywhere in my laundry room!! Loads of EXTRA laundry. Repeat chant “this is fun and we’re making memories.”
Now, we are all stuck at home because mommy really shouldn’t drive in the snow. Again, yes, I am part of the problem and not the solution.
Phase 6 of Panic: I’m wondering if my house will survive the snow day. I’m wondering if I’m going survive the snow day. People are busting at the seams. Stir crazy is a real thing.
Finally, bedtime arrives. Yay! I plop on the couch hoping the white fluffy stuff will be gone tomorrow. Then, I receive a text. “Due to inclement weather, school is cancelled tomorrow.” Refer back to Phase 2 of Panic and proceed down the list.
– By: Lyndsay Crews